“Lending money to friends and family can be dangerous. How do you ask for it back?”

You don’t ask for it back. First, you send them a toenail via Australia Post … then you make it known that you’ve got other friends who were pallbearers at Underbelly funerals.

Never lend more than you can afford to kiss goodbye to forever. A payment plan might help, if you get yourself in a sticky situation, like Danny Glover on the toilet in Lethal Weapon 2.

Friends and money can be a nasty combination. But is this question more relationship than finance section? “Question from Jacinta: My girlfriend snogged my best male friend. Should I slap her, or kick him in the nuts?”

I’ve watched too many friendships go into melt down like the Nazis in Raiders of the Lost Ark over lending money.

Here’s my tips. Get your friend or family member while they’re alone and explain that it’s become a matter of honesty and trust.

Put it down in writing (be careful with your wording). If you know when their payday is, send them a text message every payday to ask if they can make a part payment.

Pretend that you’re hard up yourself. “My car needs to be fixed.” “I need to buy a wedding present.” “I’m short of money until my own payday. Could I get some of what you owe me?” After all, they hit you up when they were in strife.

Bruce Brammall is the author of Debt Man Walking (www.debtman.com.au) and a licensed financial adviser.