Sure, they come in degrees of seriousness, but they’re all emergencies. A good drama-queen can make an emergency out of anything! Bar, 2.30am. You’re exceedingly intoxicated and have been acting like Dudley Moore in Arthur for several hours. Alas, without scoring. Pockets contain only coins. Hope you stashed an emergency $50 for the cab home. […]

There’s a fringe element out there – certifiably crazy, in my opinion, like Charlie Sheen’s spectacular brain implosion – that believes debt is the devil. These, um, fools, claim embracing debt is essentially Russian roulette, using a revolver with ammo in every cylinder. Forfeit enjoyment until all debt is repaid. If debt is evil, how […]

Implement previously rehearsed emergency tactical diversion techniques. This is not a drill. This situation is live! Go to the bathroom. “Sorry, I’m off. It’s washing night.” Wander off to order another drink. Pretend your mobile is ringing (on silent). Look at your phone and exclaim “Oh, my God! I’ve got to answer this text!” “Wow, […]

FOOD fight! Cool, I feel like a Blazing Saddles pie fight. The default position for payment for all restaurant meals is … Boomers, of course, should pay for everything. While they still can. And then for some time after, given they will be mooching off the labours and taxes of Gen X and Gen Y […]

Boomers. Question answered. Am I done? But we can’t blame the Boomers directly. They were only such a large generation because the parents who spawned them were so darn … horny! When I think about my grandma – the credit card addict – just writing that sentence makes my spine shiver. It’s that whole visualisation […]

Gen Xers have major distractions in their lives – burgeoning careers, cash-guzzling and time-devouring rugrats plus monster mortgages. It’s possible to do everything yourself … if your time is unlimited. But most Gen Xers understand time doesn’t grow on trees and they need to outsource some stuff. If personal finance isn’t your strength, get professionals […]

Fences equal splinters in butt. So straight-talking it is. Managing money comes down to income, spending and investment. You have less control over the first and ultimate control over the second two. On average, Gen X guys will earn more. A good portion of the reason for this is because they’re missing a few bits […]

I have this sneaking feeling, with no hard evidence to back me up, that speed skater Steven Bradbury is actually in control of Australia’s finances. Maybe as Wayne Swan’s puppeteer? Of all our first world competitors, our economy seems the only one that hasn’t fallen over. They’re all in a bit of economic poo, something […]

Just like that old 80s “oils ain’t oils” Castrol ad, it’s important to remember that shares ain’t shares. Shares are the riskiest asset class. And the recent proof of that was the market rout of 55 per cent from November 2007 to the “bottom” in March 2009. The oldies to the right would more likely […]