South Park’s Chef is warming up his velvety, chocolatey, voice. “I’m gonna make love to you, baby! Uh-huh. Let’s make some sweet love.”
If you’ve held back on procreation because you felt it should be a money-making venture, wait no more!
Making babies is now almost a profitable little business, with the Coalition promising up to $75,000 a pop in paid parental leave.
Xers (aged 32 to 49) are mostly too old. Younger Xers should, with haste, jump in the sack.
Superannuation has two downers. The first is the dumping of the $500 of tax repaid into superannuation funds of those earning less than $37,000 a year.
The second is the two-year delay of higher employer contributions. This will reduce future superannuation balances of Australians who don’t take an active interest in their super.
However, women who apply themselves to the new baby-making business with gusto will get SG on their paid parental leave payments.
Cheaper electricity with the axing of the carbon tax? Excellent, given I am the only member of my household who knows where off switches are, this should save me money.
There are promises of cheaper childcare and more jobs. The Coalition claims it’s a better friend to small business than Labor.
But this is a new government. Nothing is guaranteed. Be ready for broken promises. Almost all governments break promises based on “the budgetary black hole of the previous government”.
And the Coalition needs to get its legislation passed. Unless it controls both houses, it will have to deal. Which is how we got the carbon tax last time.
Bruce Brammall is the author of Debt Man Walking (www.debtman.com.au) and principal adviser with Castellan Financial Consulting.