We’ve heard the cliche that opposites attract. How do you manage your money when a spender teams up with a saver?”

Opposites? You mean like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher? Sir Paul McCartney and Heather Mills? Or like my wife and I?

Whether it’s business, personalities or money, the most successful relationships are usually the ones where opposites combine successfully. Yin and yang. Think Tom Cruise from Jerry Maguire: “You complete me”.

Sameness is not only dull, but a potential danger for finances in a relationship.

But that sort of theory is not much help if you’ve found yourself with a financial opposite and their opposing thrifty or splurging nature is leading to spats and is threatening the relationship.

If that’s your lot, a big chat is needed. Pour yourselves a glass of red. Order in pizza. Grab a pen and paper. More red. Keep a few bottles handy.

Start writing down what’s financially important to you both.

The saver might have things like paying off home, making investments, private school education for the brats and having a solid superanuation balance for retirement. The saver’s “wants” tend to be a bit longer term. The spender’s list will probably have goals that need more immediate gratification.

Keeping both happy will require a budget that takes in short and long-term goals. That means compromise. Neither person is going to get their own way completely. Someone will have to back down. At least a little.

Bugger. Think it’s time for a bottle of wine in my household.

Bruce Brammall is the author of Debt Man Walking (www.debtman.com.au) and a licensed financial adviser.