“Splitting a restaurant dinner bill can be stressful. How do you work out who pays?”

Thankfully, the national standard for divvying up share-plate restaurant meals is NOT according to volume consumed.

One of my parents’ nicknames for me in my youth was “Garbage Disposal Unit”.

Whenever we went out for dinner with friends at one of Canberra’s Chinese restaurants in the 70s and 80s – there wasn’t much choice there back then – they’d have great joy, after everyone had stuffed themselves, in letting me loose on the Lazy Susan leftovers.

“We’ll just turn on the Garbage Disposal Unit (click). Now … watch him go!”

But I was a hungry, active, teenage kid and I could eat everything and then run it all off. (Nowadays, it’s eat one pound, put on two.)

Later in life, being the “numbers guy”, it was usually left to me to sort out the bill. That was often uncomfortable. The pile of money was usually short. Extracting extra cash could be awkward.

You remember the people who tried to skimp on a few bucks. You should always be generous. If you’re not splitting it evenly, always tip in a little extra than what you think is fair. Then everyone should keep throwing fivers in until the bill (and tip) is knocked off.

But if you think it’s a sport, try this strategy. It’s worked a million times – sadly on me too.

Target someone at the table. Get them so drunk that they’ll be easily convinced that getting the “points” on their credit card is a good idea. Then find some way to deal with your guilt the following morning.

Bruce Brammall is the author of Debt Man Walking (www.debtman.com.au) and a licensed financial adviser.