(03) 9020 2905Debt Man column – The West Australian (Business)
For: August 20, 2010.
Bruce Brammall
Debt Man
When someone has a true “oops” moment, it can be rather magical. Major stuffups can be the stuff of legend. And great lessons.
You’ve no doubt had one. Or five. But when it’s you, only your friends will get to snigger as you cringe and make a vow that it’ll never happen again.
Give me public screwups! They’re not only the most fun, but where the most people can learn from a giant mistake. Especially when the stuffup has a sense of irony about it.
Take Hugh Grant. Actor Hugh found success playing nice guys. He dated one of the planet’s hottest women (Liz Hurley). But he suffered a five-year career setback after getting compromised with an ugly, two-bit hooker (Divine Brown). Major oops. But hilarious.
Or Gordon Ramsay’s decision to attack Channel Nine’s Tracey Grimshaw. Why would anyone spout off at someone who has a comeback via their own TV show? Gordon, you twit.
Imagine if Prime Minister Julia Gillard got so caught up in campaigning tomorrow that she forgot to vote. And it cost Julia her seat. That would ace John Howard losing his last time.
Or someone who spent their whole lives making sure there was a diversity of choice for consumers forgetting to diversify in his personal life. And that decision costing him something like $50 million.
Readers, please welcome to your breakfast table … competition csar Graeme Samuel.
Debt Man: “Graeme is the chief of the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission. Morning Graeme.”
Graeme Samuel: “Morning Debt Man”.
DM: “Graeme, you’re a former investment banker?”
GS: “Correct.”
DM: “And you were pretty good at it, weren’t you? The company you started eventually became part of Macquarie Bank, right. Made a pile out of that, didn’t you?”
GS: “Indeed, I did.”
DM: “Then you started a consultancy, which also did stupendously well. Yes?”
GS: “Stupendous might be an overstatement. Let’s say, ridiculously successful.”
DM: “Then you grew a conscience. You turned from poacher to gamekeeper. You left the big bucks in private enterprise for crackers as chairman of a government body, the ACCC.”
GS: “Did that in 2003. Felt it was time to give back.”
DM: “Admirable. And while we all know roughly what you do, could you please give us your description?”
GS: “Sure. My job is to make sure that consumers benefit from having competition. Consumers need diversity. The economy needs diversity.”
DM: “Right. Go on.”
GS: “For example, consumers should be able to choose between many telephone companies, petrol stations, cereal providers or investment platforms. Businesses need to have competitors to buy from. Monopolies are generally no good for an economy.”
DM: “Gotcha. Makes sense.”
GS: “We want to make sure that too much power is never concentrated in one area.”
DM: “Why’s that?”
GS: “Eggs and baskets, Debt Man. It’s pretty simple. Too much power in one little area is potentially disastrous. If anyone, any thing, any economy, has too much power in one area, too much would be at risk. There’s no diversification! One thing going wrong could lead to ruin. Maybe the whole country could be devastated. Imagine if we let Australia’s four major banks all merge into one and then we got into trouble like Iceland during the GFC?”
DM: “I see. So competition is about choice then. You fight so people and businesses have sufficient diversity in their lives.”
GS: “Spot on, Debt Man.”
DM: “Just like we tell everybody at home, regarding their investments?”
GS: “Aaah, Debt Man, er, um, no … that’s a little bit different.”
DM: “No, seriously, it’s the same thing, Graeme! It’s what we tell people all the time. Diversify your investments. Make sure that you don’t have everything all gambled on the one investment. Have your money spread around in different assets so that if one thing goes “BANG!”, like an Alan Bond empire, it won’t destroy you, because you had plenty of your other money elsewhere.”
GS: “No, actually, I don’t think we should go there. We were talking about the GFC.”
DM: “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought we were talking about consumers and …”
GS: “Debt Man, sorry, I’ve got to go. Taxi waiting. Bye!”
DM: “… shopping. Like those DFO outlets. Graeme? Graeme?”
(With apologies to the ABC’s John Clarke and Bryan Dawe.)
Bruce Brammall is the author of Debt Man Walking (www.debtman.com.au) and a licensed financial adviser. bruce@debtman.com.au .