Grow up and take responsibility for your finances

Debt Man column – The West Australian (Business)

January 7, 2011.

Bruce Brammall

Debt Man

Some things – for example, what you look like when you enter this world – are beyond your control.

At birth, apparently, I had a flat head. My Dad claims it was flat from my eyebrows to the back of my skull. He was concerned that the shape of my noggin meant that there couldn’t possibly be room for a brain.

He feared he’d created a real “Wizard of Oz” Scarecrow (“If I only had a brain”) and he wanted me sent back. There are no photographs to prove him right. Or wrong.

Genetics and your upbringing means there are many other things over which you have little or no control.

Your eating habits, the way you vote, your social graces (or lack thereof) are all largely absorbed from your parents.

Your speech will reflect how they speak. Hopefully, if James Reyne’s kids take up singing, their vocals will be comprehensible.

The older you get, the more control you exert. Which explains why teenagers, broadly, can look as appalling as they do (ahem, Corey Worthington).

Some time after you leave the nest, you might feel you can no longer blame them for who you’ve become.

But wait! You can. Psychologists have something to allow you to continue blaming your parents forever!

It’s called “learned behaviour”. Essentially, that many of your habits were picked up subconciously from watching your parents (and siblings and friends) behaviour under certain circumstances.

Of course, they did the best job they could. But they made mistakes.

Are your money handling skills bordering on pathetic, or even embarrassing? Do your drop your salary like Australian cricketers drop catches? Do you juggle credit card bills just to survive? Are you unable to save money, no matter how hard you try? Do you want to invest, but you’re too scared to start?

Blame your parents! Call mum and tell her she’s on her last warning. Next mistake and she loses visiting rights to the grandkids. (Whoa! Maybe not if they’re also handy, cheap, babysitters.)

I know some readers will vehemently disagree. “Oh, come on! You’re an adult. Grow up and take responsibility for your actions!”

That’s actually where I’m heading.

However, most people don’t understand how difficult it is to change behaviours. Leopards can’t change their spots. It is almost as difficult for humans to re-engineer their brains.

First, you need to be aware there is a problem. Second, you need to want to change. Third, the toughest bit, you need to change it.

Knowing that the problem is deeply ingrained, almost genetic, can help you understand the size of the challenge ahead to change.

In some cases, monstrous. Last year’s Leonardo DiCaprio film “Inception” was based on how deep beliefs can be and the extremes required to change them.

Start by defining your issue. Say, an inability to save money, a fear of investing, or perhaps a fear of owing others money (which will make it impossible to buy a home, for example).

Is this something that you picked up from your parents? (If no … you’re an adult. Grow up and take responsibility for your actions!)

Why do you do it that way? Do your friends have the same problem? Think about it properly. If you can’t grasp it, quiz your parents. See if they know why they, or you, think that way about that particular aspect of finances.

At the bottom of most people’s problems with money will be a fear (probably irrational) or a lack of confidence or knowledge.

The good news is that all issues, no matter how deep in your psyche, can be fixed, generally with knowledge. Getting your mind to think differently requires, essentially, re-engineering or rewiring and will be hard work.

Reading (books and newspapers) is the best way to fill knowledge gaps. Find a book that covers the topic in which you’re deficient.

We’re now a safe distance from New Year’s Eve, which is a GREAT time to get drunk, but a stupid time to make resolutions.

Mid January is a far better time. And you’ve still got 11.5 months to find one thing about your money habits that you want to change this year.

Of course, it could just be because you’re crap with money and you want to stay that way. In which case, cheers!

Bruce Brammall is the author of Debt Man Walking (www.debtman.com.au) and a licensed financial adviser. bruce@debtman.com.au .