“Money can create moments of madness in a relationship. What are the biggest problem areas?”

“What we’ve got here is (a) failure to communicate.”

Depending on what generation you’re from, you’ll remember that as either Cool Hand Luke starring Paul Newman, or the opening line to Civil War from Guns N’ Roses … and you’re waiting for Axl to start whistling.

Essentially, spending too much and not earning enough. But they are symptoms, rather than the cause.

A “failure to communicate” is typically what causes marital money madness, because Australians treat money as a taboo topic.

Given so many marriages bust up over finances, couples need to spend time talking about money before the blue-ing starts.

Put the kids to bed. Grab a bottle of wine (or two), some paper and pens.

Now, go Back to the Future. You started this marriage thinking about growing old together. Start there and work backwards. Forget about today’s money issues. Focus on where you want to be in 30, 20 or 10 years from now.

Do you have similar financial visions? What sort of a retirement do you want? When will the house be paid off? How are you going to educate the kids? Is there a holiday home in the plans?

Then work back to today. You’ll probably be surprised at how little of today’s spending you need to forgo to get there and still have fun along the way.

If you’re not making financial love after two bottles of wine, then it’s time to see a professional (a financial adviser, or relationship counseller) to get help.

Bruce Brammall is the author of Debt Man Walking (www.debtman.com.au) and a licensed financial adviser.