(03) 9020 2905I’d like to bump into myself in the street 20 years ago, but right now. That would be right cool. And rather enlightening. For him.
Of course, if I did, I’d suggest we head off to the rubbity dub. Assuming Young Me didn’t say “Bugger off old man”, I’d buy him a drink.
“Pull up a stool. What can I get you?” I’d ask me. He’d demand a pint. I’d order myself a middy.
It would start with the pleasantries. I’d start by telling him he should get a haircut. He would, no doubt, tell me to lose a few pounds.
Water off a duck’s back. I’d move on.
“We need to have a chat. Listen carefully. This is going to be the most profitable conversation of your life.”
There is a piece of my mind that I’ve got reserved for early 20s me, and, frankly, any 20-something-year-olds now prepared to listen.
It’s not about regrets. But there are things I wish I’d learned about a decade earlier than I did.
I’d skip the stuff I’m still not an expert on (including love and relationships, which I’d leave him to screw up a few more times) and move straight to the big bucks.
I’d start by explaining to him that the following conversation is based on averages. I’m not telling him what will actually happen in the future. That would be breaking some rule from Doctor Who or about time vortexes, or something. And also because I don’t know. I’m talking to him right now.
“Topic number one: stop ridiculing super,” I’d say. “You think it’s a waste of your money that will probably have imploded in some sort of global financial crisis before you can access it.
“It won’t.
“Well, it will a little bit. But don’t worry about that. Momentary. Fleeting.
“Two things you need to do with your super right now. The first is to go hard. Switch from that balanced industry fund and bet the lot on shares and property, both domestic and international. Do that now while you’ve still got 40 years in the workforce, rather than 30 years, and you’ll probably double your retirement money.
“Your second super instruction … put in more than the base your employer is contributing. Not enough. An extra $20 or $50 a week – just one shout for you now – will double it again.
“Topic number two: Buy property earlier. Home or investment, doesn’t really matter. A home is investment central. People who buy into property learn financial discipline. They tend to be twice as rich as those who don’t.”
My glass is empty. His finished some time ago.
“Hey … turns out I’m thirsty. Your shout. I’ll have a middy. Suggest you get the same – save you a few bucks.”
He returns with another pint for himself and a middy for me. It’s clearly not sinking in yet. I sigh, regroup, and relaunch.
“But you’re right not to buy that rubbish property you’re looking at right now. If you’re after an investment, flats are duds. Property needs land – that’s where the scarcity value is. There’s no land in high rises.
“You don’t actually buy it. You got that call right. Dumbass luck. You didn’t do it, but not for the right reasons. Remember … land is what makes property grow.
“Third rule … ease up on the drinking, dude. Not because of the health effects. I’m no doctor. And look at me. But for carrying a few pounds, you turn out fine.
He disappears to the toilet. Comes back with another pint.
“Fourth, put an extra $100 into high-growth investments. Whack it in an index fund. Low fees, yada, yada. Gear it.
“Fifth, insure your income. You haven’t needed it yet, but again that’s luck. People you know DID need it. Could have been you. This conversation could already be messing with your karma.”
The pub is filling up. A few mates have found him. Another beer lands on the table. For him only. Cheeky.
“Lastly, travel. Divert some money to your backpacking fund. You won’t regret it.”
I buy Young Me another drink. And then leave him there. I hope his head is spinning. And not for the five pints he’s consumed during our chat.
As that conversation can’t happen, I fear young DebtBoy will cop it when he finishes school. One day he’ll thank me for it.
Bruce Brammall is the principal adviser with Castellan Financial Consulting and a licensed mortgage broker (www.castellanfinancial.com.au). E: bruce@castellanfinancial.com.au.