Debt from a previous relationship, or a current partner, can cripple your finances. How do you fix it?

Simple: Love ’em and leave ’em. Or is that too cruel?

When it comes to finances, one person inevitably has a better understanding of money and tends to take some sort of control. If that happens, the other has to have an open mind and accept that “control” is often for their own good.

If one person has a debt problem and you’re the household financial controller, sadly it’s probably up to you to deliver both the news and the solution.

Working calmly through money problems can be difficult. If it’s always degenerating into slanging matches, you need a moderator. It should be someone you both trust, or a counsellor or independent financial adviser.

If it’s really stressing you, perhaps cut financial ties. Separate the bank accounts and the credit cards. This might be the wake-up call, if you’ve been propping them up.

But if the spending and credit binges are out of control, the relationship’s end is probably near.

Then dealing with an ex-partner can be even worse and the destruction particularly nasty.

If an ex- has done the dirty on you financially, urgently get hold of your credit file to see exactly what damage has been done. They’re free through Dun & Bradstreet (www.dnbcreditreport.com.au) and Veda Advantage (www.mycreditfile.com.au).

If there are a few little bombs on your reports, assess the damage and start repair jobs, if possible, by contacting the organisations directly. Then follow up with the credit reporting services.

Cancel joint accounts and credit cards. End all financial ties. Then see a specialist about how to recover from your Sexually Transmitted Debt.

Bruce Brammall is the author of Debt Man Walking (www.debtman.com.au) and principal adviser with Castellan Financial Consulting.