(03) 9020 2905These “battle of the sexes” questions are brutal. Deadly – no winners. Answer one way, you’re fanning stereotypes. Answer the other and you’re sexist.
And both answers will get me in deep with Mrs DebtMan. Hiding to nothing.
So, gulp, I’ll just go with honesty and hope I get to keep some arms and legs.
I’ve been married for, um, a while now. But if back on the scene, I’d probably fall back into old habits.
I’d go with chivalry. I don’t think it’s dead. It certainly shouldn’t have been killed off. Chivalry, in my opinion, is either ingrained like manners, or it’s not.
The problem for us Gen Xers is that it all changed during our generation. For those to the right, chivalry is probably not just accepted, but expected. To the left, going dutch is probably expected and accepted.
Given that, here’s my answer.
Should a Gen X guy insist on paying for a meal? Yes, but gently. Then read her body language (you’ll be trying to read the play all night anyway). Offer again. If paying for the lot is going to cause offence … RETREAT! Don’t stuff up everything over who’s paying for the meal.
Guys, be prepared to pay the lot. Choose the restaurant based on that.
Play the game. Read the signs. Don’t get so drunk that you can’t use what little intuition we males were given.
The remainder is just manners, in my opinion. If it’s cold, hand over your coat. Walk between her and the traffic (as you would for you kids). Hold the umbrella.
Good luck. Glad I’m not out there.
Bruce Brammall is the principal adviser with Castellan Financial Consulting (www.castellanfinancial.com.au) and author of Debt Man Walking.