You don’t ask. Too much like pestering, like your own kids demanding the latest Barbie/Ben 10 widget.
You want money from the oldies? Keep it family like … like the Mafia. You make threats. Emotional blackmail works a treat. (And doesn’t leave bruises!)
Our parents are at ages when they’re worried about becoming physically and mentally frail. Play to that weakness. Believe me, the last thing they can afford at this stage of their lives is “trouble” with the kids.
“Mum and Dad, we need to talk. Hand it over, or you’ll never see the grandkids again. And don’t forget who makes the decision on which nursing home you go to.” Or insert your own suitable, credible, gratuitous bait.
Then just put a number in front of them. Make it reasonable. It’s got to pass the Judge Judy “reasonableness test”.
What rules should you set? Only the obvious: Get in before your siblings!
More seriously, asking for or accepting money from parents should be a last resort.
Sure, our parents might have more dough than us. But they’ve worked longer and they’ve got long retirements ahead of them. Today’s old people seem to sit on their perches longer. They’re going to need every cent they can get.
If you need money, get it via regular channels. Either save, or go get a bank loan.
Gen X’s rule should be to aim to NOT go to mum and dad with a begging bowl. The money will, presumably, come to us eventually as an inheritance.
And if you do, don’t even think about not paying it back.
Bruce Brammall is the author of Debt Man Walking (www.debtman.com.au) and principal adviser with Castellan Financial Consulting.